As you read this post, I encourage you to listen to my
favorite song of the moment, “Day that I Die” by Zac Brown Band. It also happens to align pretty well with the
topic of my post today.
Time.
Since I was little, my mom has taught me “time is the
best gift you can give someone.” I don’t
think I fully understood what she meant until time suddenly started moving
faster. I finished my senior year of
college, spent my last summer in Blacksburg, and moved to South Carolina to
start my graduate school adventure.
Through these milestones, I have focused much of my energy on time and
how I spend mine. I’ll be the first to
admit that I’m not always efficient with the use of my time. I could always make more time to exercise or call my
grandparents or cook a real, fresh dinner.
But I’ve started to do new things with my time that enrich my life and
make me really happy. I Skype once a
week with one of mentors and dearest friends, Meg. I write at least one hand-written note each week
and send it in the mail. I make time to
read something I enjoy every night.
Taking the time to invest in things that enhance your thoughts and feelings
is a great gift you can give yourself.
But then there’s giving the gift of time to others as well,
and today, one of my favorite authors gifted this to me.
A little backstory on this particular author: I randomly stumbled upon the book Love Does
by Bob Goff when I was browsing amazon.com for books by one of my long-time
favorite authors, Donald Miller. Bob and
Don are friends and write very similarly, so I decided to order Love Does. I just finished it last week and can say that
this book changed my attitude towards life. I don’t want this post to be a book
review, so just know that this book illustrates the occurrences of everyday
life with a religious context. The title
summarizes the mentality that love is a verb, it’s something you do, something
you engage in and exemplify through intentional action. At the end of the book, Bob writes a brief
note about the essence of time. He says:
“One of the things I’ve learned following Jesus is how much He enjoyed being with people...He didn’t just love the idea of being with people either, He actually loved being with them. A lot of people in the world stop being available at some point. It’s subtle, because it happens a little at a time and it’s not malicious or anything—it happens though. But Jesus wasn’t that way. He seemed to have more time for people as time went on, not less. That’s one of the things which makes love so powerful; it leaves us a way to find it (p. 224).”
And then he lists his phone number at the end incase he can
be of any help.
Now, to give a little bit of context to my life lately, I’ve
been doing a lot of dreaming. The
professor for my favorite class had us complete a dream exercise about a month
ago. We listed out all of our biggest,
limitless dreams and selected which one was our top dream. We vowed to take calculated steps towards
achieving these dreams. What was my
dream? To write a book. About what?
I have no idea, and I think that is why it has remained just a distant
dream to me. I didn’t think that anyone would be interested in what I have to
say, and I didn’t think that I could say anything worth reading. As a grad student, I’ve learned to question
almost everything, and my dreams were no exception. Why shouldn’t I write a book? Why shouldn’t people want to read what I have
to say? Why not me?
After reading Bob’s book and seeing his phone number at the
end, I decided to give him a call to see what words of wisdom he would
offer. Yesterday afternoon, I called and
left Bob a rambling voicemail. I posted
a tweet to him saying how cool it was to leave a voicemail for such an awesome author. He sent a tweet back saying that he was on
his way to Uganda (btw you should check out all the time that this man dedicates to
the people of Uganda here). I thought
it was awesome that I heard back from him so quickly, but I figured I wouldn’t
get to talk to him for another month or so.
Today, I was in the office when I received a phone call from
a random number. It was Bob Goff. Yes, he was on his way to Uganda, but he
wanted to make sure he returned my call.
His contagious energy overflowed through the phone and filled me with
such joy. I told him all about my dream
and my ideas about traveling abroad, particularly to Uganda. He was so welcoming and told me I should go
to Uganda with him and his team. “Bring
your Moleskin and you can get some writing done here,” he told me. He even suggested that he would like to read
over some of my writing. I could
tell that he was in an airport, so I made plans to email him and call him back
in a few weeks. I would really like to
take him up on that offer to visit Uganda.
This is one of the coolest lessons of the value of time that I
have ever experienced. We all have
friends that will say they’ll call and never do. That stings because it often feels like those people aren’t just busy, but that they don’t have time for us in their
lives. Sometimes we don’t make the
conscious effort to fully engage in relationships and friendships because we think
that the momentary things that are going on in our lives right now are
urgent—and the friends and family will still be there next week, next month,
next semester, next year…but we all know that postponing relationships in exchange for meeting deadlines is not a fulfilling way to live. Taking time to talk with someone is a basic
way to tell them “what you have to say is important,” or “your question is
valid,” or “I value the opportunity to talk with you.” It’s the best way to say “I care.”
So when Bob Goff, someone who I know is very busy and knows
way more people than I do, took the time during his day of travel to call me
back, I was so touched. Many of us
underestimate the power and gift of time, and like Bob wrote in the back of his
book, Jesus did not allow time to come between Him and His people. It is my hope to live like Jesus, like time
is not of the essence. I hope I may give
time abundantly to people, especially those I love.
As I write this post, I am reminded of a quote that I read a
few months ago in a newsletter:
“I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” -Robert Brault
It’s nice when busy people fit time in
their schedules to spend with us, but I really value those who don’t need to
“pencil me in.” It’s ironic because I
used to measure the value of my time by the color-coded meetings and
events in my planner. Schedules shouldn’t regulate your relationships with
the people that matter most, and staying in touch shouldn’t be such a hassle
because it should be natural for you to make time for people. Now, I measure my time not by my calendar,
but by my conversations. Not text
messages or emails. Real, face-to-face,
or at least phone call, conversations. Though
I know I haven’t mastered this, I strive for it continually. I challenge you to give the gift of time too.
Love Does Time.
